Geektoberfest Day 3: MY TOP TEN LIST OF THE BEST JAMES BOND MOVIES OF ALL TIME! (Part II)

Posted on by The Beard

Well it’s not actually of all time, it’s just up until 2019.

#5 THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS (1987)

Bond (Timothy Dalton) tries to help a defecting Russian general and in the process teams up with the Afghan Mujahedeen while romancing a cellist.

Thumbs Up:

  • Timothy Dalton as James Bond. He looks gorgeous in this movie.
  • Bond gets to show real emotions.
  • The pre-credits sequence on Gibraltar was a great way to introduce Timothy Dalton.
  • The villain’s henchman Necros (Andreas Wisniewski) almost gets his ass kicked by an MI6 butler? Damn, even the MI6 servants are kick ass.
  • Great title song performed by Aha.
  • Return of Felix Leiter (John Terry). See Thumbs Down below.

Thumbs Down:

  • One of the weakest villains in any Bond movie. Sheesh!
  • Return of Felix Leiter. Happy to have him back but this has to be the worst non-use of a character I have ever seen. Why bother bringing him back at all?

#4 ON HER MAJESTY’S SECRET SERVICE (1969)

Blofeld (Telly Savalas) intends to hold the world for ransom with the threat of biological weapons unless Bond (George Lazenby) stops him. Along the way Bond falls in love and proposes.

Thumbs Up:

  • George Lazenby as James Bond. If he had stuck around he might have been the best ever.
  • Telly Savalas as Ernst Stavro Blofeld. If you’re going to have Blofeld physically stand up to Bond then Savalas was the man to play him.
  • Diana Rigg as Contessa Teresa di Vicenzo. Lets face it, only Mrs. Peel is worthy of marrying Bond.
  • Best fight scenes ever!
  • The ski chases leave you at the edge of your seat.
  • Most amazing ending. The only time I have been in a theater and the audience gave the ending of a Bond movie a standing ovation.

Thumbs Down:

  • The first half of the movie drags in places.
  • Has one of the worst title sequences.

#3 GOLDENEYE (1995)

Bond (Pierce Brosnan) races to save the world from a deadly space weapon that fires electromagnetic pulses. But this time he faces an enemy who matches him in every way.

Thumbs Up:

  • The Battle of the Double Ohs – 007 versus 006! That alone is worth the price of admission.
  • Pierce Brosnan as James Bond. The best Bond ever!
  • Sean Bean as 006. Wow!
  • Famke Jansen as Xenia Onatopp. Hubba Hubba!
  • Samantha Bond as Moneypenny.
  • Judi Dench as M.
  • The return of the Aston Martin DB5.

Thumbs Down:

  • Joe Don Baker as Jack Wade. I would have preferred they bring back Felix Leiter.

#2 GOLDFINGER (1964)

A millionaire madman plans to rob Fort Knox – or does he?

Thumbs Up:

  • Sean Connery as James Bond. His best performance.
  • Shirley Bassey’s theme song.
  • Honor Blackman as Pussy Galore.
  • Jill Masterson (Shirley Eaton) killed and covered in gold paint.
  • Gert Frobe as Goldfinger.
  • Harald Sakata as Oddjob.
  • First appearance of the Aston Martin DB5.
  • Desmond Llewelyn as Q.

Thumbs Down:

  • Absolute worst Felix Leiter (Cec Linder).
  • Why does Bond (Sean Connery) need a duck on his head while wearing a scuba suit?

#1 SKYFALL (2012)

A rogue former MI6 operative has a very personal showdown with M (Judi Dench) and Bond (Daniel Craig) gets in the way.

Thumbs Up:

  • Daniel Craig as James Bond. His best performance.
  • Outstanding villain in the form of Raoul Silva (Javier Bardem).
  • Outstanding plot with M (Judi Dench) at the center of a revenge scheme.
  • We get to see Bond’s ancestral home.
  • Moneypenny (Naomie Harris) gets to be the Bond girl for a change.
  • Bond gets shot! Twice!
  • The scene at the end with Bond underwater in a frozen lake creeped me out!
  • Great theme song.

Thumbs Down:

  • Nothing! Absolutely nothing!

Honorable Mention: NEVER SAY NEVER AGAIN (1983)

SPECTRE tries to hold the world for ransom by stealing atomic bombs. Bond (Sean Connery) makes them give them back.

Thumbs Up:

  • Sean Connery is back after more than twelve years away!
  • Bernie Casey as Felix Leiter.
  • Barbara Carrera as Fatima Blush. Be still my beating heart!
  • Bond dances a tango. This made me want to learn how to Tango.
  • Bond plays a video game.
  • Bond’s big fight with Lippe. Boy do they chew up the scenery.
  • Klaus Maria Brandauer as Maximillian Largo.

Thumbs Down:

  • The musical score just doesn’t sound like a Bond movie.
  • The climax is slow moving and ultimately disappointing.

Tomorrow, we have The Mustache giving his Top Ten Favorite Horror Movies ever. Please, subscribe, and comment. Most important of all, don’t forget to hit that LIKE button, to show us you care.

The Beard

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Published by The Beard

I’m Eliseo Figueroa Jr. and you’re not. I was born in Saint Francis hospital across the street from Saint Mary’s Park in the Bronx. I was born there because that was where my mother was and I wanted to be near her. My parents came from Puerto Rico and moved to New York City when they were kids. My dad spoke fluent English – with an accent – but he’d had a stint in the army and had mastered the language. However, he needed a little work on reading and so everyday on the way to work he would buy a comic book and read it on the subway. In those days they were ten cents, a quick read, you could fold them and put them in your pocket, and when you finished you threw them away. Back home my mom would tell my dad to read me a story to put me to sleep. My dad had no desire whatsoever to read me any of my baby books so he read me one of his comic books instead. While other kids dreamed of Mother Goose, the Old Lady who lived in a shoe, or Little Red Riding Hood, I dreamt of Superman, Batman, and Wonder Woman. And this went on for years. When I got older I asked him to give me the comic books. At that point he stopped throwing them out and I had a comic book collection even though I still didn’t know how to read. During the day I would make my mom read me my comics over and over again. I was dying to learn how to read and had been told that you learn to read in first grade. I remember being so excited the first day of school for the first grade. I couldn’t contain myself. I thought it was like magic – poof! – I was going to come back home and be able to read all of my comics. My mom had to sit me down and explain that it was a process. That over time I would learn how to read and by the time I finished the first grade I would be reading. I must say I was disappointed but more determined than ever to master this thing called reading. Over the years my comic collection grew (my dad had to keep building bigger and better shelves) and so did my interests. I mastered reading and went on to read books. I discovered the library where they actually let you borrow books – what a concept! And my interests in literary science fiction and fantasy expanded to include television and movies. Yes, I was and still am a full-blown geek! By the way, I’m the beard in our little duet. I have a goatee and no moustache. In all that time while growing up my dad never once complained. How could he? This was all his fault and he knew it. One time we were in a store where I was purchasing some comics and it all came to twenty bucks. As my dad was paying the man the owner commented on how much I was spending on comic books. My dad’s reply was, “Well, at least he’s not on drugs!” Science fiction, fantasy, horror, secret agents, giant monsters, and more are my drug of choice. Anyone who has ever sat in a darkened theater and has had their heart start racing in excitement as the music to STAR WARS begins to play knows exactly what I mean.